I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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