were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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