I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
