After last night, I could never be a politician.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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