Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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