you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
