They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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