He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
