her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
