He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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