I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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