Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i out mim tonsoeep
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
