would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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