How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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