god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
