My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
