Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
As shirtless as possible
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
