Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
