Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize