Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
