we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
