Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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