I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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