I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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