I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I wish i was in the wii world.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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