one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
