I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize