If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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