i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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