I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
