Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
