This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
