i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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