NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
