How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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