I think I died a long time ago.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
