he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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