Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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