He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
