Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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