You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize