i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
