its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
