bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
