I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
