I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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