I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize