quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
false alarm. still invincible.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize