I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
