i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
