So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish i was in the wii world.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We were destined to go to rehab together
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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