Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
