i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
