he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
