ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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