so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
