I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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