Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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