she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Two words: blizzard sex
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
