just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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