sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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