My hand turned me down
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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