New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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