Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
