I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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