Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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