She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
