I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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