guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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